I feel so restless, in the middle of the night,
that I take refuge within my words to express my feelings, hopes, frustrations, my ups and downs, my fears….
That perhaps I am not coping, understanding's not quite clear.
Of what is needed from me, to help you through this time…




When you told me what was wrong, I wished it were a lie…
Diagnosed with ""cancer"" were the hardest words received….
But what I witnessed that night was harder for me to take in… To see your world come crashing down as you kept on repeating, “why her and not me, the girl who is nice, good, sweet, the one who would honour, forgive and forget
Why her and not me, she is such a delight…. her suffering and pain, her fear and her doubts…Why her and not me, she doesn't deserve pain................why?"
I heard you…. I wanted to cry.
My heart fell to my stomach.
With a snap of a picture I could see your whole life being turned around.
The word cancer had taken over…A look at you threw my heart to the ground…




I know, I will never understand how it feels to stare death and pain
right in the face.... when suddenly, life threatens to slam the door...
Maybe that is the reason why I hopelessly tried to convince you out of this relationship. I knew I was being selfish. But at that moment nothing seemed to matter other than persuading my best friend out of a relationship, which would leave his heart and soul torn at the seams… which would leave his dreams fractured...




Though you manage to be your old self and put up a smile... I know I have hurt you in this process.
But I love you so very much.... No one really knows what kind of bond we share. And even if I told them, they probably wouldn't care. You are precious to me...So no matter what; I’ll stand by you through this roller coaster ride of pain and tears....till the end....