Words
His had been a lifelong struggle with words. Like dried blood, words lay in clotted clumps on his tongue-for he could never express himself in front of people.Beautiful thoughts flitted through his mind but whenever he tried to pen them down,words refused to flow out, for his mind worked faster than the rate at which he wrote or talked.His mind, which was so different from the rest, a mind where a hundred or so thoughts created chaos and he envied the mind of others that was so simple,so uncluttered.He who saw the World differently...
In school he was the boy who raised his hand but could never answer his teacher-the words were all there, rolling deliciously in his mouth but they failed to budge from their hiding place.And now he is a man brimming with amazing ideas & yet when his boss looks around for suggestions,he ends up agreeing to the mundane ideas offered by others coz he can’t express himself, he can’t make himself be heard. Caught in an empty world devoid of words, exists a brilliant man not understood by the world-the past thirty years has been a lonely walk.
They said she was like that from her childhood, that she would play with words when girls her age played with dolls,that you could give her three unrelated words & have her compose poetry out of it in a minute.When she spoke, she could weave magic with the way she used her words alluringly. When she wanted, she could use those very words like a whiplash & leave raw gashes on people who hurt her.
She lived in a world full of vibrant words……He lived in a dark World that craved for the warmth of words to stream in like sunshine.One day God answered his prayers.
He met her, the goddess of words….
He was browsing through the names listed in sify messenger under the alias gypsy_cloud & there she was as azure_sky & somehow he liked the match.He wanted to float like a cloud across the blue sky & explore it.Initially She was reluctant to chat with him,who was but a stranger but finally she relented. All he saw were words on his messenger, words of such colossal magnitude that it shook him, words of such beauty & naïve innocence that his heart melted and he could not help but fall violently in Love with the enigma that had almost mastered the art of making words come alive.
He was in awe of the power of her imagination, the vivid descriptions of her words that burnt itself in his psyche.
She was all that he was not….
She was the one who could complete his incompleteness…
He tried hard to meet her in person,to unmask the anonymous young writer who drove him crazy with her words.Like a cloud that’s hard to pin down, she eluded him but not for long…..
Like a whiff of spring air she drifted into his life & he felt satiated. But he kept his battle with words under wraps.Oblivious to his struggle against such demons, she felt hurt when her words elicited no response from him. She felt angry for he never reciprocated –unaware that he wanted to express his love for her but the dark forces held him tongue tied, held his speech paralysed…
His silence infuriated her & over the months a stage came when she could bear it no more. It was then that he spelt out the dark secret.
‘Autism’…He whispered…
She was advised to leave him… but how could she? Did the advisors know what love was? She hoped not. She was free once, now she realized that she is been pulled down to a shell, along with him. A shell she knew she would never be able to come out of. It was like an invited constrained, a constriction that would bind her to him. He would be incurable, he would be wordless, but he would be there. She had enough words for the both of them she thought, and his shell was strong enough to let them in, forever. So what he lived in darkness, her words had made him crazy once, he saw light in her every syllable. She hoped she would replace her words someday. She hoped her words were strong enough to win the battle, that they would make his clouds pour, and then may be, one day he would look beyond her words, one day, he would look at her. Just may be.
She could live with autism, she realized, but she couldn’t live without love.
In school he was the boy who raised his hand but could never answer his teacher-the words were all there, rolling deliciously in his mouth but they failed to budge from their hiding place.And now he is a man brimming with amazing ideas & yet when his boss looks around for suggestions,he ends up agreeing to the mundane ideas offered by others coz he can’t express himself, he can’t make himself be heard. Caught in an empty world devoid of words, exists a brilliant man not understood by the world-the past thirty years has been a lonely walk.
They said she was like that from her childhood, that she would play with words when girls her age played with dolls,that you could give her three unrelated words & have her compose poetry out of it in a minute.When she spoke, she could weave magic with the way she used her words alluringly. When she wanted, she could use those very words like a whiplash & leave raw gashes on people who hurt her.
She lived in a world full of vibrant words……He lived in a dark World that craved for the warmth of words to stream in like sunshine.One day God answered his prayers.
He met her, the goddess of words….
He was browsing through the names listed in sify messenger under the alias gypsy_cloud & there she was as azure_sky & somehow he liked the match.He wanted to float like a cloud across the blue sky & explore it.Initially She was reluctant to chat with him,who was but a stranger but finally she relented. All he saw were words on his messenger, words of such colossal magnitude that it shook him, words of such beauty & naïve innocence that his heart melted and he could not help but fall violently in Love with the enigma that had almost mastered the art of making words come alive.
He was in awe of the power of her imagination, the vivid descriptions of her words that burnt itself in his psyche.
She was all that he was not….
She was the one who could complete his incompleteness…
He tried hard to meet her in person,to unmask the anonymous young writer who drove him crazy with her words.Like a cloud that’s hard to pin down, she eluded him but not for long…..
Like a whiff of spring air she drifted into his life & he felt satiated. But he kept his battle with words under wraps.Oblivious to his struggle against such demons, she felt hurt when her words elicited no response from him. She felt angry for he never reciprocated –unaware that he wanted to express his love for her but the dark forces held him tongue tied, held his speech paralysed…
His silence infuriated her & over the months a stage came when she could bear it no more. It was then that he spelt out the dark secret.
‘Autism’…He whispered…
She was advised to leave him… but how could she? Did the advisors know what love was? She hoped not. She was free once, now she realized that she is been pulled down to a shell, along with him. A shell she knew she would never be able to come out of. It was like an invited constrained, a constriction that would bind her to him. He would be incurable, he would be wordless, but he would be there. She had enough words for the both of them she thought, and his shell was strong enough to let them in, forever. So what he lived in darkness, her words had made him crazy once, he saw light in her every syllable. She hoped she would replace her words someday. She hoped her words were strong enough to win the battle, that they would make his clouds pour, and then may be, one day he would look beyond her words, one day, he would look at her. Just may be.
She could live with autism, she realized, but she couldn’t live without love.
posted by the silhouette | Wednesday, March 15, 2006
1 Comments:
thanx again neel.
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